It’s just that I always have to be the one in control when other people feel anything. When one of my friends or family members is really upset, they express it, and then I’m there to be the voice of reason.
When they feel really happy, they also express it. I’m the caution and the reason so they don’t get too excited.
I’m sedated for their sake. And in a way, I’m resentful. Sometimes I wish I could feel those really intense ups and downs that disregard any cold, hard logic. Sometimes I wish I could be really sad or really, genuinely happy without feeling like I’ve failed someone or myself. Sometimes I wish I could express how much somebody means to me without feeling like a sentimental idiot. I’m stronger than that. I have to be. For them.
Oh well. I guess this is how it’s meant to be. I don’t mind being the support. I can live like this as long as I keep it to myself.
Gotta keep on truckin’! ^^
See why I wanted to just have a blog for arts? lol :U